I really don’t feel like writing much- I have to get ready for work. I haven’t felt like writing recently really anyway. On Sunday I went to the park with a flask of Jack Daniels. After a couple of hours, I ran out of Jack, and also club soda- it was like 90 degrees- and had to come home and fill the flask back up again. So I did that, grabbed another liter of club soda, and went back to the park for a while, until I’d again finished off both the flask and the bottle. On the way home, I decided I’d stop in the bar for a beer.. it turned into a few beers. Somehow I managed to consume somewhere between 10-12 oz. of Jack, and three or four Guinness.
Fortunately that night I woke up like every hour and drank a huge glass of water, so somehow I felt basically fine when I got up.
The following night I was busy, and didn’t drink… last night I wasn’t busy with anything, and in the end, after fighting it for a couple of hours, had a pair of Becks. Fucking bullshit. I can’t explain the pull… it’s like the pull to smoke, almost identical really. I don’t know whether that means it’s a mental addiction or a phyiscal one- I would assume a mental addiction largely, if the symptoms are exactly the same.. That is to say, I assume the nicotine and the alcohol react differently with the body to cause differing phyiscal dependencies, and thus removal of those drugs would cause the body different effects.
This leads to, hopefully if I can find something to replace drinking at home with, besides going to the bar, then hopefully I can slow this progression down a bit. I’m not ready for my own Leaving Las Vegas.
What I would do though, I have no idea.
Post a Comment